Post Mother's Day Post

I have found it to be a strange experience seeing those nearest and dearest to me in an entirely different context from the usual mother/daughter, mother/son routine. I don’t know if every mother gets a surprisingly pleasant jolt when she sees her adult children acting adult, but I do. It's a reminder that when they are rolling their eyes at me, it isn't the sum total of their abilities.

Maybe it's only me who's surprised. Perhaps you all imagined your kids as adults. I vaguely thought about it although that was always the plan and my attempts to cajole, instruct, bribe, lecture, threaten were simply tools to civilize the spawn.

In spite of working that plan with a great deal of energy for many years, and being pleased with the results, I had another prideful moment recently. Two quick lines of back story – I was raised on discount shopping. It was the New Jersey working-class equivalent of deep-sea diving for treasure for  people who had lots more money and no fear of water.

Yes, even today we go to museums and all that, but for a real thrill, we save an afternoon for thrifting or discount shopping. Unfortunately, the great discount stores are gone, and I will get weepy if you tell me you still have a great dress from Loehmann’s, but there are still fun places. And, for discount shopping, you can enjoy it whether you are a novice or expert. As much in life, successful discount shopping depends on preparation as much as innate talent.

Personally, I perfected these skills with my mother and then exercised them with my bestie growing up. I will not tell you the story of driving from NJ to Pennsylvania for a John Meyer of Norwich sale and coming home empty-handed. Gas was cheaper then.

For my daughter, her personal Mecca or Lourdes is HomeGoods. Months ago, we stumbled on a fantastic HG store when we were vacationing in Florida, and she became determined to find the equivalent near us. Stay with me - Here is where we get to the ‘mother is proud of adult daughter’ event. She scoured the reviews of HomeGoods and zeroed in on one about a half an hour away. We chose a day well in advance, laced up sturdy shoes, cleaned out the trunk of the car, and went to a large suburban HomeGoods.

Watching my daughter go through HomeGoods was like watching a shark slide through the water. You know the way they glide along, confident, scanning the area with a look of sheer determination. The way they move and the attitude says 'I'm home, this is my dominion'. Not a smile, not a frown - just pure focus. What a sight to behold. Smoother than a prima ballet dancer... but she’s had more practice shopping than your average ABT dancer has had at the barre.

The moment we entered, she whipped out her list - she had combined her many preliminary lists into one neatly printed piece of paper. We started (as I have long advocated), at one end and methodically traveled the length and breadth of the store. She was a marvel – not impulsive. She was thorough and thoughtful. She was impressively organized. When we entered, she had asked, “Should we take one shopping cart or two", I thought she was kidding. Silly mother.

I’ve always enjoyed watching talented people do their thing – I admired Russ selecting stones for a dry wall as well as Sheila, my sculpture teacher slapping clay together and voila! a something. Talent is impressive. Seeing it in my own child was heartwarming. My own mother would have been proud.

I hope you had a Happy Mother's Day and I applaud you - whether you have fostered and encouraged children, pets, students, earthworms, patients, strangers and all else that needs good mothering in this world.