Aging Is A Bitch, literally

Danny showing interest in my company

You know the way people compare aging to becoming a child again - they are thinking about being mostly bald and dopey. I have a brand new, read it here first, different theory developed a couple of weekends ago when I had too much time on my hands. It goes like this.

As we get older, we become more like old dogs. I have evidence. I babysat Danny for a day - 1 day, but he was an excellent teacher. Danny DeVito is a name that only a dog with attitude can carry – he has it. His picture is shown above (his interest in me is already evident in this photo). As we navigated the day, I observed him – he pees a lot, he nips if you annoy him, he has certain ways of doing things, he has favorite places and preferred streets to walk along. He takes time to sniff the flowers (just before peeing on them) and he doesn’t appreciate being rushed or diverted. He is set in his ways and not especially interested in anyone else's suggestions.

On the street, people coo at his cuteness; they make silly noises and comment on his funny determined walk, and then he bites them (hey, cooing can be construed as condescending). He has a meal plan and a treat schedule that cannot be messed with. He is loyal to his owner and no one else – he tolerates me because having a full bladder is no fun. He remembers old friends and is skeptical of new ones. He would like to run away but then he panics because he doesn’t know where to go.

Have I made my case? Isn’t this like getting old?  So now, when people call me a bitch I will be more understanding, even flattered by the comparison.

This photo is Danny thanking me for taking him on a long walk.

Yeah, had a great time. Bye.