Gratitude

I've frequently written about my significant ability to hold a grudge, genetically based and cultivated over the decades. Today, I have a different "G" trait to think about.

Yesterday was an extraordinary morning…and not in a good way. Within a 15 minute period, I received: a call to tell me that an older friend is cognitively failing; a text from a wonderful young friend who is at the bedside of her difficult dying mother; a call from an acquaintance with cancer who needs to find a new doctor; and a What’s App notification that an absolutely lovely neighbor has just entered hospice. All in the space of 15 minutes, really.

My response, I’m trying to be honest, was to get online and order a package of gummies from my neighborhood drug (that type of drug) store. This is a rare move on my part, so you can probably imagine the wallop I experienced.

Then, after I caught my breath, had a cup of tea, and played Wordle (horrible word that day, what are they thinking?), I, and I admit this, knowing how it sounds, was relief that it wasn't me. It wasn't me...this time. This time.

I thought about it more, about aging and illness, and realized that my overwhelming feeling was immense gratitude that today – maybe not tomorrow, but today since we have to take it one day at a time – I am in the lucky position of being able to be helpful. I can make some phone calls, cook soup, be there.... Does it feel especially important because I'm older? Maybe, but when the world feels so casually cruel, as it does these days, it’s nice to have the opportunity to be on the side of the angels.

FYI ---- I am NOT cancelling my order for mango gummies. It’s still early; who knows what will happen after lunch.