Adaptive Function of Denial. And a defense of ostriches.

I think every profession—or more accurately, every professional—has a few catch phrases that they over-use.  For example, I’ve had some medical providers who favor “healthy lifestyle choices” when advising a me to drink no more than 2 glasses of wine a week.  A week?  A good glass of wine deserves another. I don’t drink to excess, but I believe two women friends enjoying a bottle of wine and good conversation should knock it back together without being judged for poor life style choices.

This allows me to introduce my most favorite catch phrase from my professional life as a therapist: The adaptive function of denial.  

While I am now retired from professional practice, I find myself informally counseling anyone who is suffering when they watch the news to draw on this basic human defense—in moderation of course.

Yes, denial of realities—like jury duty, gravity, and physical limits of aging IS problematic and often needs to be confronted in health care, therapy, and legal counsel.  There is definitely a pathological form of denial of reality and it is frequently featured on Fox News.

Healthy adaptation to the current state of democracy and the world, however, requires some redirecting attention to what and where we can problem solve or offer help. And we each need to be able to order the priorities for our attention at times for our sanity and peace of mind. 

Ostriches have been stereotyped for putting their head in the sand. But science confirms that in reality they flatten themselves to hide in the brush when that is the best strategy for surviving.  Turns out if given a shot at survival they can and will run 43 miles per hour or injure and deter predators with a flurry of kicks.

I can’t run or kick my way out of much these days, but do not underestimate older women’s capacity to problem solve at your risk.  If you haven’t read Not The Trip We Planned yet, it is much more fun than the news! 

Recommend it to your friends and their book groups for health and well-being.  And celebrate the wily grace of the ostrich.