Presentations, Talks, and Other Useless Activities

I love to write my articles (and get paid for them); I still hope to write a novel one day; I attend talks and sometimes I give them. I do enjoy hearing from people who have a different point of view (unless they are goofy), and I learn new ideas because, after all, I live endlessly in my own head. So, why the title complaint?

After decades of being a speaker at and a listener to presentations, panel discussions and talks, I have come to the sad conclusion that people don’t listen. Of course, I am also guilty - that's how I know it's a problem. Mostly it is okay, people can play some AARP game, the 10x10 is pretty good, or text a kitten video to a neighbor similarly enthralled. I’m fine with disinterest or snoozing. My children softened me up for that type of reaction when I used to try to impart my wisdom to them.

The problem occurs when the lack of listening is coupled with the clear impatience to speak. I know this behavior because I'm a pro. However....What makes me grumpy is being forced to watch a series of predictable behaviors rolling out before my eyes. You will recognize these people - they show up wherever people gather - in your book club, conferences, dinners, families...

Here's the sequence…………..while someone is speaking

Behavior My editorializing

1. So and so doesn’t listen no problem

2. Then, he responds anyway problem beginning to rear its ugly head

3. With his own idiosyncratic comment could go either way...

4. To prove how smart he is ooops, went the wrong way

5. And confirm he wanted to be the one giving the talk……… that no one else would have listened to

One fascinating effect of aging is that I see things faster and recognize the patterns because I've seen it all before, and done it too often.

In March, 2025, Not The Trip We Planned was published by Koehler. You've had time now to read it several times. Soon there will be a quiz. Meantime, please write a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads. Thank you.