Change: Evolution vs Revolution

I’ve been thinking about change. I think about change a lot. Don't misunderstand; I don't like change and I'm not especially good at it - that's probably why I obsess about change. It seems to me that change has happened in my life in one of two ways - evolution or revolution.

For example, my writing has been an example of evolution. I started writing stupid stuff in grade school, read about writing, took courses, joined groups, blah blah. Now I write for a living, get comments (welcome or otherwise), and I learn some new ways to think and become a better writer. It hasn’t been very fast, but it is steady and grows out of a relatively organic experience. I look backwards and see a clear, occasionally deliberate pattern.

Change that occurs through revolution is something very different for me. It either happens to me and I must respond or I'm angry/bored/frustrated and I want action. Either way, it feels out of control and my go-to reaction is usually anger; I’m ready to burn the house down. My first husband died very young and I was left to raise our son in a strange city where we had moved for his work. Believe me, I still found time to be angry but I had to make changes fast, grow up, and live differently. I had no choice about the change - that was dumped on me. I only had the choice about how to react to the changes. It was not a graceful time, but that was when I met my best friend Maddy, so there was, if not a silver lining, a bronze.

I don't think I am the sort of person who will ever like change. I drive my cars until they roll over in the garage and beg for trade-in. I could eat the same meal all week, and wear the same black pants with a different clean shirt for the rest of my life (accommodating the seasons, of course). Evolution feels like I have some control. Revolution feels like someone/something/ has the control and I just react. Ugh.

In March, 2025, Not The Trip We Planned was published by Koehler and I didn't have any control over that either. But it turned out well, so.