I was voted “Most polite” in my eighth grade class. Until right now, I never told anyone. Even then, it was embarrassing. Who in their right mind wants to be publicly tagged as the good girl? I would have loved to be voted “Most popular”, “Most likely to succeed”, “Most Intriguing'' (but in New Jersey where I grew up, intriguing was not a concept we spent much time on), but no, I was voted “Most polite”. Of course, I blamed my mother. I was twelve and she took a lot of hits in those days.
Now, not surprisingly, having raised children, entertained their friends, mingled with many assorted adults, and swam (when I wasn’t drowning) in the publishing/writing universe, I’ve had a change of mind. I’m fully in favor of manners. I am the champion of politeness. Let’s teach it in school - there is certainly time now that we stopped teaching spelling and punctuation, art and music. My curriculum would start with please and thank you before moving on to the hard stuff (the AP class of politeness)- holding doors open and sending thank you notes - yeah, let's get crazy.
Kids, and too many adults, seem to think that politeness is antiquated, from another age, like wearing stockings - or suits. I do agree that stockings and suits are out, but I'm afraid that manners are considered irrelevant, like knowing the difference between your and you're or when to use fewer vs. less. I didn't know back then, but I do appreciate it now, there is a real purpose to manners - it reminds us that we strive to be civilized beings; that we hope to get along with each other one of these days; that in spite of all our differences, we share the planet, even the elevator; and that we have a basic (it doesn't have to be fancy) respect for each other.
And please don't comment that I messed up with the semicolons.........
Watch for Not The Trip We Planned, coming out in March, 2025. Koehler Publishers has proofreaders so I expect good grammar.
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