Irony: I write a post about fixing problems, my website goes down, and I can't fix it. Wow, that's unplanned honesty.
Fixing problems is a full time job, but it isn't my job. I tend to break things - that's one of my skills. But, many people are wonderful at fixing things and people. My friend Maddy is one of those people. Maddy is the only person who knows I'm the author of this blog. Maybe I'll invite her to share some views You will like her better than me - everybody does. She tries endlessly to fix whatever is broken. I watch, I admire, I applaud the results, but I have noticed a problem.
I've carefully watched Maddy for years; maybe that's one hazard of being a writer. Anyway, I've seen her spend too much time fixing broken toys, pipes or people. She's effective, that's for sure. But I think it has kept her intensely focused on others, and not attending to herself.
As I thought about it, I realized that this is an endless problem for a lot of women who seem ready to jump in and soothe, fix, or please. The problem: focusing on others prevents us from being present in our own lives; from asking the questions about ourselves. It’s helpful to others, but is it helpful to the fixers? Being a breaker like me isn't such a terrific way to approach life either, but I imagine there is a middle ground (breakers who carry Gorilla Glue or fixers willing to swing a mallet????).
Not The Trip We Planned will be out in March, 2025. Both Maddy and I are featured in it. At least we're together, doing our thing.
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